Every once in a while, my mom's death really bothers me. Sometimes it is when others talk about the things they do with their mothers or even grandmothers, or when people talk bad about their mothers. Sometimes it just creeps up on me out of no where and just makes me sad. Other times, I feel like I'm getting over the grief and focusing on the future and happily remembering the life before my mom's death. For the first several months after her death, I felt my mom's presence. It's hard to explain how I knew she was with me. I felt her around me. Especially when I was at home or driving to/from work. When I was most upset about life, I felt a warm pressure on my side. It was the same warm pressure I felt when I had severe chills that my body was shaking horribly. I sat beside my mom on the couch in the living room and she pulled me into her side to try to help me warm up.
Anyways, I was driving home from work last night, and the song, "I will not say goodbye," sung by Danny Gokey was on the radio. It's about how after the death of a loved one, we are supposed to move on, but in reality, we can't. I highly recommend this song to anyone going through a tough time after a death. I found God last night listening to the music because I know that He knows I'm still having bad times and that He will stay with me while I'm going through these emotions.
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